why does anyone do anything

On an afternoon drive, a conversation between me and a friend came across shootings, and global tensions. While asking the question why, why do people do this?, my friend nonchalantly shook her head and drawled “Why does anyone do anything, right?” and turned up the radio. But that thought followed me all the way home, and resurfaced the next day as I was booking my next adventure to Asia. All of a sudden, I couldn’t wrap my head around why I even really wanted to go.

happiness

As I thought it through, the same old script I’d been telling myself came to mind. Traveling is awesome because doing new things is exciting. But what was so bad about being at home? I love my family and friends, I love my country, why can’t I just be content like everyone else with what I have?  What made me choose this life, and why am I traveling so far, what am I even looking for? Happiness is not found, it is owned. But it really came down to a craving for moments of surrealism.

is this real life

Growing up, and until this point in my life, it was so easy to be content where I was with what I had because so many things were still fresh to experience. But the world got smaller, and new experiences got harder to come by. Moments that make you come alive like jet skiing, getting lost in the forest, doing doughnuts in an empty snowed in parking lot, watching a fire fight, and discovering abandon homes came to pass. Once you get past your first graduation, first time moving out, and coming of age the world seems… emptier. Moving on to bigger and better, moving farther and wider is an addiction that keeps my mind occupied. That’s the only way I can find myself asking is this real? and feel myself edge toward the brink of surreal.

idle minds

For some, the mental occupation they choose is materialism. Materialism is the 21st century quick quench solution to thirsting for a fully human experience. Owning more clothes, bigger homes, more technology toys,  more status, owning more more more. Materialism is truthfully the most immediate way to show the world that you’re a success. We all know in this day in age that nothing comes without it’s price. But that begs the question, who are you really doing all of this for? I’ve come full circle and asked myself this same question now on the verge of backpacking, as I did back when I’d yet to travel at all.

independence

No, I don’t give a shit that I have a pimple, I’m still not using concealer. Yes, I wear the same 6 outfits, no I don’t need a bigger closet. Ok, my phone is a galaxy S3, no I don’t care about the iPhone 1693469 with a .06″ bigger screen. I’m single and happier now than when I was in a relationship, I’m allowed to take myself out on dates. My hair is frizzy, I don’t need to straighten it. Truthfully, fashion is self expression, makeup is art, technology is wonderful, and the right relationship is about quality time, but why does materialism have to be attached to all these things? Maybe that’s the rebel in me, resisting control. Maybe I just don’t like the fact that society tells me to measure my success against unyielding standards.

you

There’s nothing wrong with living a life full of materialism, but it’s blatantly easy to dehumanize yourself along the way. The times I stressed over ruining an expensive dress, or highlights that didn’t come out just right are gone. I just don’t think the amount of hours I work in my life in exchange for money are worth something as delicate as property that can be damaged and lost.

me

I need something a little more permanent. I need something that can give me a bigger thrill. Something a little richer than the impermanence of materialism is what I’ve been looking for. So this is it, this is why I wander. Travel and the memories that come with it have outlasted everything in my life besides the people I made them with. Experiences are the only things that last. How amazing is that?

And this whole thing got me thinking…

“Be careful who you make memories with. Those things can last a life time” Ugo Eze